On my recent trip to New York City, I kept noticing things that New Yorkers did that the millions of tourists did not. Enjoy!

1. New Yorkers Use Their Bat Sense to Cross the Street

Whereas tourists timidly wait on the curb until the crosswalk sign tells them to walk, New Yorkers walk into the middle of the street, texting on their phones, and then, using ecolocation, know when it’s time to cross without looking. I tried this myself and nearly got run over by a bike.

2. New Yorkers Look Cool Wearing Sneakers

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They’re something out of a fashion magazine, and somehow business skirts look awesome with their limited edition, hard-to-find sneakers. Tourists, on the other hand, look like tourists in their sneakers.

3.New Yorkers Don’t Gawk

Even if there’s something to see, they want everyone to know that they’re not fazed by it. They keep walking past gorgeous sculptures, naked grandmas, and dying homeless people (too far??).

4. New Yorkers Do Not Make Their Own Coffee

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Why would you when there’s a Starbucks, Panera, and a million other coffee shops on every block?

5. New Yorkers Do Not Give Homeless People Money

They know that Joe on the corner has a 401k bigger than theirs, since tourists feel sorry for him. They’d rather spend their money on coffee.

6. New Yorkers Know That Buddhist Monks Do Not Ask for Money

We kept seeing what appeared to be Tibetan Buddhist monks, asking for donations. Like, $20 donations. Seemed a little off. So I Googled it, of course. Turns out it’s a total scam. So glad I didn’t give them any money, and sorry I wasted my “Namaste” on one.

7. New Yorkers Love to Appear Fabulous

We met up with my friend’s friend, and she was like an episode of Sex in the City. Drinks in Manhattan, hot guys, the whole nine. Give me a beer and Netflix, and I’m a happy girl.

8. New Yorkers Don’t Smile

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I don’t know why this is. So many people in New York came here from tiny towns all over the country. You think they’d be happier to be here. Tourists, on the other hand, grin like idiots as they look up at buildings.